Spilled Coffee

I don't think the adjustment period after beginning or ending something gets discussed enough or at least in the spaces that I'm in. It's easy to encourage someone to do something, for example, encouraging someone to quit drinking coffee. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, sounding easy doesn't mean that it will be easy. Let's say that a person has been drinking coffee daily for the last few years. This person is accustomed to waking up first thing in the morning to drink coffee to get their day started. It's become a part of their daily routine. It's their daily "pick me up." Some people become reliant on their daily routine to help them function throughout the day and once that routine begins to change or is forced to change, it can become difficult for someone to adjust, and how difficult it is varying from person to person. That person may begin to look for a replacement for their daily coffee and sometimes that replacement may not be a healthy one, while others may be able to adjust more smoothly. You can think of the example of daily coffee as anything in your life, whether it be quitting cigarettes, ending a connection, or even a romantic relationship. Right now, I'm going through many adjustment periods at once. What I had known for so long is quickly fading into a distant memory and it's happening at a speed that almost scares me a little. The things that were once at the forefront of my life are becoming an afterthought and soon none of it will be a thought at all. The way that I think, feel, and act are all changing simultaneously, and it can be kind of overwhelming at times, but I wouldn't consider it to be a bad thing. It feels like the thorns that I had willingly allowed to injure me are being plucked away one by one in a rapid motion leaving me with small open wounds that are healing almost as quickly as they had been created. The path that I'm on is one that is rightfully mine, but it wasn't a path that I was being forced to take. No one could force me to take the road less traveled by. No one could force me to invest into my growth and healing, only myself at least. With healing comes pain because it leads to acknowledging how much I've much I've put myself through and what I've allowed to happen. It means holding myself accountable and taking a long look in the mirror where I had to face the parts of myself that I tried my best to hide from because I knew what facing the truth meant; it meant letting go of the things that I so desperately wanted to hold onto despite knowing that they weren't meant for me. The final months of 2023 were the roughest yet the most rewarding. My glass house shattered into a million pieces, and I was tasked with the duty of using what I had gained throughout the year to build something completely new, something more fitting for the person that I am now, as well as who I'm becoming. This is my promise to myself that I won't shy away from the unknown. I will continue to trust my path because I know that it won't lead me anywhere that I'm not meant to be, even if the journey to my destination can sometimes hurt or be uncomfortable. No matter what, I know that I'll be ok. Adjusting to the unknown/unfamiliar is a part of life and it’s something that I’m learning to make peace with.